Space for lasam

David Arp and Claudia Arp: The second half of marriage

Posted on: April 16, 2012


Section II Charllenge IX:
David Mace, “Love and Anger”, Family Life Today (August 1983), 37.
梅達維:在每個婚姻裏都有兩股力量,使夫妻在一起的愛和使他們分開的憤怒。

Gottman, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, 63.
“….可蘭讀到一個自我測驗的問題:“你的婚姻中有足夠的愛和尊敬嗎?”:

我的配偶徵求我的意見。
我的配偶在乎我的感覺。
我們互相傾聽。
我們尊重彼此的想法。
我們的婚姻充滿了愛。
我們是很好的朋友。
我覺得被接納在伴侶的生命中。

….當她給滿他二十分的滿分(都是愛和尊敬的正面答案),她瞭解了臥室門上的刮痕是微不足道的。

….我們需要再次放慢腳步,重新專注於欣賞和取悅對方!” (p.138)

“從我們對神的信心,我們決心學習怎麼處理生氣,使我們的婚姻成功。” (p.24)
Harriet Goldhor Lerner, The Dance of Anger (New York: Harper & Row, 1985), 4 and 123~124.

“我們為自己的行動負責,但是我們不能為別人的回應負責,他們也不能為我們的回應負責。。。。。當我們能分享回應、而不要求對方為造成我們的感覺負責,也不為對方因我們的選擇和行動所做的回應責備我們自己時,我們才能開始把憤怒當作改變自己的方法。”

http://www.marriagealive.com

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